I Don’t Care What I Eat

This is Melissa Kirby, one of Dustin’s contributors.

That’s right! ¬†When I’m in a lot of pain I don’t care what I eat. ¬†When I’m in a lot of pain chocolate cake¬†and I are on a first name basis. ¬†When I’m in a lot of pain I don’t want to exercise or care what needs to get done that day. ¬†All I want to do is take some pain killers and lay in bed all day with a heating pad. ¬†That’s what I WANT to do; but it’s not what I actually do (most days). ¬†No matter how much pain I’m in, life still goes on and I can chose to sit on the sidelines or go along for the ride.

I’ve been dealing with back and neck pain for many years now. ¬†I’ve been to several different physical therapists, been¬†prescribed¬†pain killers and muscle¬†relaxers, had electrical stimulation, massages, osteomanipulative therapy,¬†spinal decompression, talked to a surgeon, even been told I might have Fibromyalgia.

Do I feel defeated?  Sure, sometimes.  But I keep going.  I have to.  I have two beautiful little boys, a loving husband, a wonderful family, and great friends that all depend on me.  And no matter how bad I feel, I remind myself that it could always be worse.

Knowing I will have some days that are harder than others I try to prepare for those days. ¬†I have healthy meals in the freezer for when I don’t have the energy to cook. ¬†When I need a low key day, I have books around for myself and the kids to read; and I forgive myself for letting the kids watch more videos than they should. ¬†I wash a load of laundry and spend some time cleaning the bathroom and kitchen every days so the task never gets too overwhelming. ¬†And at the end of a long day¬†I make time for a hot Epsom salts bath and some alone time with my sweetie. ¬†Most importantly, I take the time to remember what’s really important in life.

This is how I keep going.¬†¬†I do what I can to make it through those really bad days knowing that tomorrow’s another day and another chance to be the best person I can be. ¬†If I keep striving to do better someday chocolate cake won’t even¬†recognize¬†me.


  1. If you know the movie Finding Nemo – this reminds me of that movie. JUST KEEP SWIMMING, JUST KEEP SWIMMING!

  2. Very powerful words. Thanks for sharing. I will try to keep your mantra in my head when I feel defeated.

  3. Thanks Patty. now I’m going to hear Dory singing in my head all day:-)

  4. Dennis Hilgendorf says

    Melissa, well written. As a survivor of 2 brain tumors, I have “learned” that each day is precious and cannot be wasted by feeling sorry for one’s situation. Those aches and pains are still trivial compared to some alternatives. I’ll be praying for you and your great attitude!


  1. […] I’ve been dealing with back pain for quite some time now. ¬†I’ve tried many different things to find relief, but nothing […]

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