What Advice Would You Give?

I recently received a facebook message asking for help.  I receive so many of them, mostly people asking how to make their butt smaller or how to lose fat on the stomach.  I usually have my assistants answer them or refer them to this website.  But this email really touched me.  I am going to keep it extremely anonymous and say this is a girl who I knew a little bit, many many years ago. We never really were close friends, but we knew each other from a distance.  She is physically very beautiful, size 2, flat stomach, great legs and arms (what most women are trying to achieve), but as you will see from the email not totally happy with things.

This brings out a great point that just because someone looks fit and healthy doesn’t mean they are.  In fact some of my smallest first time clients and bootcampers are the ones that are laying flat on their back dizzy or in the grass throwing up, while those that are bigger in size run right by them.

Anyways, I got permission to share this message with you and in hopes you can offer her advice.  I won’t give any more details about her than I already have to protect her identity, but I know it will mean a lot to her if you share your advice.  Thanks in advance.

Hey Dustin,

Long time no talk or see.. Hope you are doing well as it seems you are.

My question to you is… How do you do it? How do inspire so many people?

I read your posts and wonder how someone can have such an effect on people. Where do you find ambition to do all of those things?

When it comes down to it, I need your help. Weird to read I’m sure but I need some positive in my life. I am a happy healthy person for the most part but I can’t find motivation to work out, eat healthy or have goals that I should achieve daily, weekly, monthly, yearly!!

Where does a person start? Most people would consider me very small, don’t have to work out to stay that way but the problem is I’m more out of shape then a 250 lb person. I smoke and have asthma, don’t ever work out and to top it off I have anxiety like you wouldn’t believe. I’m sure all of this sounds weird and you can take it or leave it but all Im asking for is a few tips maybe. You seem to know what the heck you are doing with your life. Congrats on all of your success.

Again I hope life it treating you well and that your goals are bringing you to bigger and better places in life.

God bless,

-Anonymous

Here was my response:

I want to first commend you for opening up and sharing your feelings, feelings you probably haven’t told anybody or very few.  I think there are a lot of people in your similar place.

First off, I don’t have everything together and I still struggle like everyone else.  I have been blessed to have discovered my passion (to empower women, and men, to be the best they can be and I use exercise and eating healthy as one of the tools to do so).  I have then gone out and studied and learned and hired coaches to help me be able to most effectively deliver the message and knowledge.

But it first comes down to knowing what your purpose is in life.   Without getting super deep, I recommend reading the book Purpose Driven Life, by Rick Warren.  I have read this book a couple times and it changed my career path.  I was going to school at the time for meteorology and read the book and knew I had to switch.  It has sold over 30 million copies, so it is a pretty popular book.  That should help you find your passion and mission in life, which will help you improve your ambition.  Sorry if you got more than you bargained for. 🙂

So how do I do it?  How do I find the ambition?  I believe it is my mission; I get huge satisfaction in hearing the success stories and know I am making a difference, a true difference in people’s lives.  I do work very long hours, which I have to be careful to stay balanced.  But, I have a short term (5 year goal), to reach 1 million moms.  That stretches me, scares me, but also excites me.

I really don’t know you very well and don’t know who you hang out with, but I am guessing they also live out what you are struggling with, unhealthy behaviors, lack of ambition and goal setting, lack of drive, lack of a go getter attitude.  Your parent’s probably told you, you are the sum of the 5 friends you hang around the most.  This is very true.  If you aren’t with friends, family, or boyfriend/girlfriend who don’t exude what you are wanting out of life, you NEED to either lose them, or decrease the time spent with them.  They will be like an anchor, and every time you try to pull away and make some progress, they will be there to weigh you down and pull you back.

You next need to believe in yourself and that you are worth it.  Why go out of your way to do something good, if you don’t think you are worth it?  I think I have a couple good posts on my site about that topic.

My friend and fellow Fit Fun Bootcamp trainer Joe has a blog on positivity.  Here was his latest post, read it over many times and try to let it soak in.

Next, you have to find some positive people to put in your life, ones that will hold you to a higher standard, and challenge you, and in turn, you want to grow as a person.  These people aren’t easy to find, but when you are actively looking I believe they will come your way.  Here are some places I have found to be the most helpful: Churches, gyms/health clubs, sports teams, places of volunteerism, or through introductions from others.

So as you find your purpose in life, which will create your ambition, you will then start to distance yourself from the negative influences you have around you, then decide you are worth it, and begin to search out more positive people.

Easier said than done I know…

The next step is to ask yourself 2 questions:

What do I want to accomplish?

Why do I want to accomplish it?

For example:

I want to stop smoking, because I don’t want to die early of lung cancer, I don’t want to waste $1000’s of dollars, I don’t want to poison my friends or my kids, I don’t want bad breath, I don’t want yellow teeth, I don’t want to have to worry about flying or other extended periods of time when I can’t smoke, I don’t want to feel winded after climbing a couple flights of stairs.  (After just rereading this to myself I realized I made a big mistake, I am telling this person to focus on what she doesn’t want.  I believe what you focus on most, is what you will get.  So instead I should say… I want to live a healthy life and not dies of lung cancer, I want to save $1000’s of dollars, I want to be a healthy influence on those around me, I want clean fresh breath, I want crisp white teeth, I want to be able to sprint up 5 flights or stairs and feel awesome)

FYI:  I think that is a pretty good list to convince anyone to stop smoking J

So once you do this for any area of your life you are looking to improve, you begin to set specific goals in those areas.  I have lots of great goal articles on my site, or read other books on the subject.

After you have made a long list of goals, at least 15.  Pick a couple that you can start with and focus on.

Here might be 3 of them:

-Stop smoking within 2 weeks.

-Begin exercising 30 min 4 times per week.

-Eliminate 3 unhealthy eating behaviors (obviously they would be specific to you.)

Once you start gaining momentum, it becomes easier, you begin to feel empowered as you make changes in your life, and it pushes you towards reaching more goals.  As this happens, those around you will begin to take notice, then it is your turn to teach and help them grow.  Through teaching, you will grow more, and you will then have the satisfaction of helping others, which I believe is one of the things we are here on planet earth to do.

There is a lot more I could say, but I will end it at that for now.  Hope that helped.

With Passion,

Dustin

Question of the day:  What would you say to help this person?  Can you relate to this story?  Lets create some dialogue!

Comments

  1. Right on, Dustin! I love what you say about the people you surround yourself with. That really got me thinking. I am blessed with wonderful friends, but need the support of bootcamp to achieve my health goals. This article has inspired me to be successful so that I can be one of those positive people! Thank you for the great post. Anonymous has taken a huge step in contacting you – prayers that she will continue the momentum!

    Beth

  2. Dustin pretty much said it all.
    I think turning the negative thoughts into positive ones is really critical. If you have a little recording running in your head all the time telling you ‘I have no ambition, I could never do this’ – or whatever – it needs to be consciously addressed. I have found that taking 5 minutes to write down a list of contradictions as fast as I can, repeating as needed and filling one sheet of paper really sets me up for at least hours if not the day. I might write “I have ambition, I love my life, i’ve got plans for me!, Life is good, I look forward to every day, I love taking care of myself, I take good care of myself, I have lots of plans, I love my life!, I love to eat well, I get healthier every day,…” like that, Just write really fast every positive contradiction to the little recordings, and do it until the page is full. It will amaze you how those 5 minutes will change your outlook for hours. Done once a day in the morning (with coffee?) WILL make a difference.

    Good luck. You CAN have your life back!

  3. For me the friendship part was the hardest thing (not that I’m exactly where I want to be yet, but I’m slowly getting there). For a long time I had very few friends and the men I dated were not exactly the motivational type. My family is very down on me all the time as well. I don’t know if you have any kids but I found that is a great way to meet people…through your kids. I joined all kinds of playgroups and “mom” things and now I have a small group of friends that are exactly what Dustin described. If you don’t have kids, church is another great place. I am not religious AT ALL, but I found that Unitarian “churches” accept pretty much anyone (even atheists) and that was a great place to meet like-minded people for me. I took some classes there too (which you can usually do without becoming a member). You could also take some classes or join some meetup.com groups that will allow you to meet more healthy people. I started taking a self defense class which is another way to meet people and get a workout in and I joined a biking group on meetup.com. You could also see if there is a quitting smoking group in your area as well.
    It’s a little harder keeping negative family away, but I used to call my mom every day and now I try to keep it to 2-3 times a month with 2-3 visits a year.

    I hope some of this helps! I guess what I’m saying is that Dustin is totally right about trying to surround yourself with the right people. It took me a long time to realize this because I told myself the “right” people wouldn’t want to be around me or that I didn’t deserve good friends and partners. but then I realized that there were probably a lot of people out there just like me 🙂

  4. My advice would be to take baby steps. “Life is a daily walk”, make small, healthy changes to your routine and repeat them every day. I find that the small changes are the ones that stick.

    Also, you might set small goals at first and let them build momentum. For instance, if you want to stop smoking make your goal to not smoke for the next hour. A day may be too long at first. I’m in a program right now where I used this thought process to get through the day, then the week, and now it’s become part of my life.

    You are teachable, you can change, it takes time, and you are worth it.
    Thanks for opening up to us, you help us as much as we help you.

  5. Anonymous,

    First, please know that have taken a huge step by asking for help – great job! The pain you feel resonates very deeply within me, and I felt compelled to reach out to you. You sound exactly like someone I know, who is very dear to my heart. I think you might be suffering from a clinical anxiety/depression. I would highly encourage you to call your doctor and get treatment. I apologize if my recommendation shocks you, and perhaps this was not the kind of advice you were looking for. I only know too well that you’re self medicating yourself by smoking, lots of anxiety sufferers smoke. I also know that anxiety reaches its peak in your early to mid twenties. Please know that there is help, and you deserve it!

    Warm Regards,

    Sun

  6. Anxiety really, really stinks. I’ve been there. It can be crippling. Be EASY on yourself and take care of that anxiety. What really helped me was getting rid of “junk food” and getting on the proper thyroid medication (hormone imbalance can definitely cause anxiety), getting OFF of birth control pills and start taking Vitamin D and high quality fish oil. Anxiety causes you to not sleep too- that isn’t good either. Seeing as how you want to stop smoking, maybe seeing a doctor who can get you on an anti-anxiety medicine that will help ease your transition into not smoking would be a good step. Please email me if you have any questions. I’ve been through hell and back and came out the other side. *hugs* to you.

  7. My advice would be the same that has already been said, but I would add two things.
    First, perhaps Anonymous is being a bit hard on herself and judging herself harshly through others success. Sometimes when we get down on ourselves, (which we all do from time to time, we are human after all) we look too hard at others successes and feel like we fall short. Setting goals is always a great thing, but I think first a real look at all the things that are going right helps. Make a list of 15 things, as well as the list Dustin greatly suggested for goals, but make these 15 things about successes you have already achieved. Then make your goal list as Dustin said. Your goals may change when you look at all the great things you have already done!
    Then, I would add my second piece of advice after you have your goals extablished.This is a similar idea to what Nancy said above. To help create success, build yourself a brick wall to help get started. Print some sort of spreadsheet that has each day and each waking hour in a little box for 1 week. Every hour that you so something proactive about your goal, even think about it, color in the square. Set a mini goal – today I want my brick wall to be 70% full, tomorrow 80%, etc. Give yourself a little treat (ok- no food!) for each three days or some time period, reward yourself – a new itunes song or something. That will help you have some accountability to yourself to get started, and that is always the hardest part! You go girl! ( and you too Dustin!!)

  8. Anne-Marie Peterson says

    Wow! I can really relate! I hate working out, and even though I have a number of really great reasons–four of whom are my husband and three kids–to do so, I can be TOTALLY unmotivated! I checked this message out to get encouragement as much for myself as anything. Great advice everyone! I think I’ll put some to good use…
    Anxiety is awful!! Get to a professional for treatment. My life can be hugely stressful. I am trying to manage it with exrcise (see above) with a little help from some medication on the REALLY bad days. Find a way to help yourself handle the anxiety, and you will feel much more capable! Because you really CAN do it. Really.

  9. First of all I think just writing the letter shows you are thinking about change and looking for support and guidance. Kudos on that.

    We are all given a gift. One of Dustin’s gifts is to motivate people. He realizes his gift and is using it. But not all of us realize what our gift it – YOU HAVE ONE as well. Just remember that. You have a positive effect on someone; you just don’t realize it yet.

    We all make mistakes and bad choices but slowly we can make changes – take one thing and work towards that first instead of trying to tackle everything.

    I think sometimes we feel that others have it so good or easy compared to us but I think everyone has something they struggle with. Remember no one is perfect; we just need others to help us get thru the rough spots.

    Have you ever tried acupuncture? It may help you w/your anxiety and can even help you w/the smoking. I go once a month as it helps me to stay balanced physically, mentally and emotionally.

    You can do it!

  10. One thing at a time… break the big goal up into smaller, easy to manage steps. Give yourself permission to fall off the wagon, and just hop back on again. Acupuncture has helped my sister with anxiety. Yoga has helped me… a gentle easy beginning yoga class focusing on breathing and stretching and mindfulness will just make you feel super awesome. And most of all, be kind to yourself. Give yourself a break. 🙂

  11. My self improvement journey is still pretty new, but in 8 short weeks I’ve found the following have really helped me:

    1. Start by changing one thing at a time. I have found Dustin to be exactly right, as you see some success the motivation will continue and then the ability and willingness to tackle the next thing is there.

    2. Fuel yourself with positive–thoughts, relationships, reading. I try to read fitness/weight loss related success stories every day. It makes me think “they’ve been there, I can do it, too.”. Maybe you can find similar stories by people who have quit smoking.

    3. Don’t strive for perfection, rather improvement. Focus on what you want to improve, but allow for stumbles. For example, I try to eat healthy meals at least 85% of the time, realizing that I CAN have ice cream with my kids once in a while and it isn’t going to derail my health goals.

    Don’t be too hard on yourself…when you are ready, you’ll get there!

  12. I agree with focusing on one goal at a time. I think if you tried to ‘fix’ everything at once, you will become overwhelmed and discouraged, which makes you less likely to be successful. What is the thing you would like to change most? Start with that one. You have a couple big things, so it won’t be easy. Maybe quitting smoking is the first, so start there. Or, if you feel the anxiety is contributing to your smoking, start by trying to address that first. You have gotten some great suggestions here on how to do that.

    What I think you will find is that once you start working on one thing, it will be easier to work on the others. If you reduce your anxiety levels it may be easier to quit smoking. Once you quit smoking it will be easier to exercise. Once you start exercising you will be more encouraged to eat well. And then you will feel better, your anxiety will decrease even more, and you can start making more positive changes. My chiropractor refers to this as a ‘positive spiral’. You do things that help you move up a spiral instead of down. With every little change you start to feel better (physically and mentally) which only helps encourage more change. I bet many of the things you are unhappy about are linked, and so improving in one area will help you improve in another.

    One more thing – I am also an asthmatic and I can tell you that it really doesn’t have to stop you from doing anything. I think if you quit smoking and get on decent medication then you will find it is not an issue at all.

    Mini goals are great, and for me the only thing that really work very well. Pick something manageable, and that you know you can achieve, to improve your confidence and prove to yourself that you can make positive changes. Good luck.

  13. Hi Dustin, It sounds like she has a bipollor problem. Sometimes when the sun is not shinning it affects a person. There is a light that can be put in a lamp that gives off a solortype energy. Only after ten minutes of sun or this light source, can change a persons feeling of contentment. Another thing she can try is a good multivitamin, that an a B12 vitamin. I heard that a good source of Vitamin D, 3000mg is a good amount to take a day. Make sure she is not allergic to diary products. Wear cheerful colors everyday. Surround yourself with positive people. Shalom, Esther Pearlman

  14. Dear Anonymous,

    First of all, I commend you for opening up to Dustin and to us strangers about your lack of fitness and other issues such as smoking.

    My first advice is to get a journal (with inspirational messages), and begin writing down what triggers the need for a smoke, the lack of motivation to exercise and to eat healthy, and what you are anxious about.

    As others have said, begin by setting a couple of small manageable goals. Then add new goals to the list as you reach old ones. Whenever I do this type of goal setting, I find that I am more able to work towards each goal (and even reach some of them) if I add a deadline to the goal. For example, you can write that you will exercise 3x/day by the end of September, then 4x/day by he end of October, then 5x/day by Thanksgiving. Before you know it, your body will be itching to exercise if you have to skip a day for some reason.

    Reward yourself with something spiritually, intellectually, or philanthopically enriching each time you reach one of your goals. You can for example borrow a good book or DVD from your local library, or buy one, or go to the movie with a friend, a mate, or by yourself if you can afford it. You can also begin volunteering through something like Big Brother/Big, a community, or a center that serves women who are struggling with life problems. Helping someone else will motivate you to work on your own issues.

    Don’t forget to record you progress and to read over your journal from the beginning every now and then. This serves as an accountability tool for yourself. In general, building in a system of accountability for myself helps me work on my issues in a sustainable way. Joining a smoke cessation group or a fitness class would be really good for you. Through these types of groups, you surround yourself with people who are similar goals and who will be very supportive. The success you will reach will spill over other aspects of your life than smoking and getting in shape. Give it a try, you will see.

    For the your anxiety issues, I would see a doctor to get a clinical assessment and treatment plan.

    In all this, don’t hang out with those who might sabotage your program. And keep telling youself that you can do it. If you have been able to write Dustin about our issues and give him permission to share your letter with us, you have already accomplished the most difficult part of the process.

    Remember, you are not alone in the struggle. A lot of us struggle with all kinds of issues. It is not easy. So if at times it feels like you are not seeing progress as fast as you expected or you even experience setbacks, don’t give up. Just get up or out 🙂 and keep on working hard towards your goal. As the saying goes, “To succeed is not to pile up accomplishment after accomplishment, rather to be able to pick yourself up when you fall and as many times as you fall…”

    Thanks for sharing, Good luck and have a good weekend!

  15. Dustin, sorry it is a little long of a response, but this subject is one to which I have put a lot of thought. It is a philosophy that has kept me active and waking up happy every day.

    Dear Ms/Mrs Anon Nymouse

    you write, “… I need some positive in my life[sic]….Where does a person start? ….”

    Here is the soundbyte:

    You have already begun. By asking this question, you have already found internal motivation to seek out the foundation, for your next step. Already this is a sign of a healthy internal bio-chemistry and a reflection of gratitude; in order to look forward, you must be grateful(full of gratitude) toward the fortunes you have. This will give you the strength to share, volunteer, and empower your belief in yourself to such a degree, that once a path is found, you know you have the strength and desire to travel the path.

    Here is the explanation:

    I believe all of our actions are physical manifestations based on various degrees of gratitude. The problems we find(or make) within ourselves and those that are found in the world politic, are all manifestations based on our “lack of”, or “mindfulness toward” gratitude.

    “…where does a person start?” answer…the foundation(gratitude)

    Begin when you awake. Ask yourself, in the general sense, “Do I know who I am, where I am, and how all of the objects around me, got to where they are, in my space?” If you answer “yes!” to all three of these questions, be mindful(full of your minds attention) toward what that means.
    What it means, is that trillions of events are perfect, and happening in a very healthy vessel called, your body; trillions!! no joke! you waking up in a conscious state, and being able to ask those questions, and answer yes, takes trillions of atomic particles to be transferring energy through your being… perfectly.

    All you think you did is open your eyes, but in reality, you have trillions of things going your way!! Focus on those, not the stresses that you think you will encounter once you start moving throughout the new day.
    Now smile…breathe…inhale…exhale… if you feel no physical pain, you just experienced another moment of the perfect being that you are. Wiggle your toes and fingers, legs and arms, torso, neck. No pain? perfection!! breathe…inhale…exhale… Smile, this is what gratitude feels like:)

    Shift your mindfulness from the internal, to the external. Ask yourself this question, “Do I have access to clean water?” Some of us, not only have access to clean water, but the access is at our fingertips. Not only that, some of us have access to tons of clean, drinkable water, at our fingertips. Not only that, some of us have access to 60 to 80 gallons of clean, drinkable, hot, running water, at our fingertips, without even getting dressed or leaving our dwelling!! If you are a person who experiences this every morning, than you are living in the upper 5-7% of humanity. First thing when you wake up, drink a glass of water… breathe…inhale…exhale… Smile, this is what gratitude feels like:)

    Continue to build the awareness of your real fortune by asking, “Do I have access to a functional sanitation system? Do I have access to clothing to protect me from the elements? Do I have shelter from the elements?
    You have not left your bed, and trillions of positive events are possibly happening within you and around you. breathe…inhale…exhale… Smile, this is what gratitude feels like:) This is powerful stuff; the stuff of dreams.

    Now, what does gratitude look like? “Take what you need and share the rest”; a mantra for those whose actions are derived from their gratitude. Ask yourself,” Do I have access to healthy re-creational activities? Do I have access to healthy social environments? Do I have access to healthy food?”
    Is the answer yes? Now the hard part, to consciously know the value of your individual being, enough so, that you choose to embrace the healthy activities, environments, and food to which your fortune provides access.
    Let your gratitude turn into inspiration and motivation to manifest your imagination.

    Stand naked in front of a mirror. Breathe…inhale…exhale… what you are looking at, is a unique, conscious being, that cannot be found anywhere else, in the known Universe. You have a mind that has the potential of more thoughts, then there are atoms, in the known Universe. Your being, has a neural network which has never been, and will never be, combined together in the exact same way. For humanity to loose you is a loss beyond comprehension!!! You are an individual that is 100% dependent on what the Earth provides. You are also, 100% dependent on the opportunities presented to you by the animals of Earth; primarily other humans. a symbiotic relationship bringing value to all of humanity.
    Continue to look in the mirror and give yourself a hug. Ask yourself, “What am I?”
    No human can really know, and the answer is infinite, and unknown. Yet the choices(actions) we make everyday reflect to ourselves, and those around us, our answer. Opportunities are presented to us, what we choose is dependent on how much we value ourselves; our actions reflect gratitude or fear.
    If we are afraid of the unknown, than what we are, is a reflection of fear; we hide behind costumes, see little or no value toward how precious, beautiful and perfect we really are. We don’t embrace the healthy opportunities to which our fortune provides access. We close ourselves to learning and we stop listening to the physical world. We primarily only consider our point of view. We feel alone and become ego driven, self serving, and strive to be what we cannot be; independent
    If we embrace the unknown, Then what we are, is a reflection of gratitude and trust; we accept our nakedness in the universe, open ourselves by learning through listening to the physical world, and actively consider various perspectives. We see value in our own precious, beautiful, and perfect being. We observe what need and share the rest. we see a world outside of ourselves and we begin to participate in it. We are mindful of our ego’s presence, Though we are not ego driven. We strive to strengthen that which are; connected
    As we travel through this mystery called life, As healthy beings, we determine how we see ourselves, and that “understanding of ourselves” evolves over time. If you truly embrace gratitude, you cannot help but see value in your being. Inspiration and motivation come from seeing the beauty that is found in and around you, moment to moment.
    Every day, ask yourself, “what am I?” I believe it begins when we shed our costumes and just be. Our nakedness is what we are. The health of what we are, sustains our consciousness. A healthy consciousness is the most precious, beautiful, perfect phenomena in the Universe. To love ourself, and to love this mystery called life, is to embrace our naked beings, and act in healthy respectful ways toward maintaining growth and expansion of our unique perspectives .
    Embrace your nakedness and the trillions of cells that make up who and what you are. You are the sun, you are the universe. You are your imagination manifest. Imagine beauty and become your dreams.

    peace from within to you

    Bootz

    ————————————————————
    -Loyalty to principles is more important than loyalty to individuals- Daw Aung San Suu Kyi

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  16. I think so often there are things in our life that either can control us or we can control them. Right now you have to decide if you want the choices you are making to control you or you want to control them. Asking yourself what smoking is doing for you will help you to determine if you want to be in control of that issue. Also, I need to share that there are many things in my life that I’m working to take control of…they don’t have control of me. IF you begin to exercise you will begin to feel better about yourself and that will make you a stronger person to handle all those things that are currently controlling you. Finally, I very much agree that you need to think about the people who are surrounding you. If they are friends they should be helping to make you a better person. I personally know how hard this is because someone very dear to me is needing to learn that friends that surround you can certainly bring you down. Choose friends that will help you to be a better person. I think the first start is to exercise and to start by making small goals. My first goal was to start exercising. I never set a weight loss goal and haven’t been on the scale in awhile because that’s what works for me. I know that I am losing weight, but didn’t want the scale to control my emotions and that was happening. I just kept moving forward with exercising. Believe in yourself and know what you want and then go for it!!!

  17. Sometimes we just can’t do it by ourselves. I want to encourage you, anonymous, that the ONE who created you, Jesus, still loves you, and has a plan of good things for your life. Knowing Him will give you a place to begin to be able to follow the advice that has come at you.

    Ask Him to send someone to help – I already have done that – but you also need to ask and to be ready to hear.

  18. Dustin, Nice job! You said so many things that i never thought of. Now we have many more thing that can keep us motivated and hope to help new people get involved in starting their healthly lives. I wish only good things for this women….and I hope this was her aaaha momment.

  19. I think that that my persoonal motivation to take care of myself comes from fear. I am afraid of losing my independence and the ability to do the things that I love to do: bicycling, gardening, hiking, traveling. Also, I do not want to take medications to keep my body functioning normally. Every drug has side effects, so I want to keep my blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar, etc. under control as long as I can by eating right and getting enough exercise and fresh air.
    I turn 50 next week and I refuse to give in to the perceived inevititablity of feebleness and sloth that our society seems to expect from aging.
    I hope your anonymous friend can find some reason in her own life to take care of herself. No one else can do it for her.

  20. Hi,
    I can”t quite say that I know what you are going through, but I wrote in to Dustin’s program, and my life has not been the same since, I was compelled to write because I was on the receiving end of this and I was overwhelmed by the response. Do not take this show of affection for granted I think each and every one of us has a story. I believe that even Dustin would say that we have all experienced some some level of addiction. Addiction comes in many different forms, and most of us never saw it coming.

    What ever you decide to do you have to do it for you first, then others. I had to care about me enough to decide that I wanted to change. At this point you must realize your own worth. I began to volunteer for a while, working with kids after school. My passion has always been children and youth. I was hired in record time. I have lost over 60 pounds using food for fuel and exercise and folks began telling me that I look at least 10 years younger. WOW! I still have a long way to go but my worth is not based on what anyone else thinks. For the first time in a long time I am healing and it feels good. Don’t give up! Believe! I thank God for places like this.

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