Comments on: Are You Causing Your Kids Or Friends To Become Anorexic? http://dustinmaherfitness.com/2009/07/01/are-you-causing-your-kids-or-friends-to-become-anorexic/ Fat Loss, weight loss, and motivational tips Wed, 16 May 2012 04:21:52 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Nancy J. Lambert http://dustinmaherfitness.com/2009/07/01/are-you-causing-your-kids-or-friends-to-become-anorexic/comment-page-1/#comment-1480 Nancy J. Lambert Thu, 09 Jul 2009 14:19:02 +0000 http://dustinmaherfitness.com/?p=1127#comment-1480 I just want to share with you a great resource for raising children with positive eating habits at all ages are books by Ellyn Satter. She has a commonsense eating approach that most of us missed as we grew up. Here is her Division of Responsibility. Ellyn Satter's Division of Responsibility in Feeding - Parents provide structure, support and opportunities. Children choose how much and whether to eat from what the parents provide. The Division of Responsibility for Infants: • The parent is responsible for what • The child is responsible for how much (and everything else) The parent helps the infant to be calm and organized and feeds smoothly, paying attention to information coming from the baby about timing, tempo, frequency and amounts The Division of Responsibility For Toddlers through Adolescents: • The parent is responsible for what, when, where • The child is responsible for how much and whether Look up ellynsatter.com - the above are her words. I am a dietary student and consultant, and have been in the field for 20 years. Dustin is doing a great job of getting everyone motivated to make changes. We need to share these positive ideas with our children. As I grew up I know that my family left me with fat phobia. Consequently through high school I had what would be called dieting behaviors, it took lots of education to get beyond all that. It's amazing what we teach children about food in many subtle ways. I just want to share with you a great resource for raising children with positive eating habits at all ages are books by Ellyn Satter. She has a commonsense eating approach that most of us missed as we grew up. Here is her Division of Responsibility.

Ellyn Satter’s Division of Responsibility in Feeding –
Parents provide structure, support and opportunities. Children choose how much and whether to eat from what the parents provide.
The Division of Responsibility for Infants:
• The parent is responsible for what
• The child is responsible for how much (and
everything else)
The parent helps the infant to be calm and organized and feeds smoothly, paying attention to information coming from the baby about timing, tempo, frequency and amounts
The Division of Responsibility For Toddlers through Adolescents:
• The parent is responsible for what, when, where
• The child is responsible for how much and
whether
Look up ellynsatter.com – the above are her words.

I am a dietary student and consultant, and have been in the field for 20 years. Dustin is doing a great job of getting everyone motivated to make changes. We need to share these positive ideas with our children.
As I grew up I know that my family left me with fat phobia. Consequently through high school I had what would be called dieting behaviors, it took lots of education to get beyond all that. It’s amazing what we teach children about food in many subtle ways.

]]> By: Laurie http://dustinmaherfitness.com/2009/07/01/are-you-causing-your-kids-or-friends-to-become-anorexic/comment-page-1/#comment-1399 Laurie Fri, 03 Jul 2009 02:37:14 +0000 http://dustinmaherfitness.com/?p=1127#comment-1399 This is such a complicated issue! All of the comments above are true. We have a great influence on the people around us. My experience with anorexia is from a different side - when I was 7 years old, my Mom was diagonesed with anorexia (she was in her late 20's). She was physically abused as a child. As an adult, she was finally in control of her body, but as we know, not in a healty way. Thankfully, she was able to get the help she needed and proved to be a positive role model for my sister & I. Are we the thinnest people around? No, but we have healthy eating & exercise habits and positive body images. As my Mom taught me, no body is perfect. Who wants to be like everybody else? :-) You have to work at it every day. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. The small things that you do each day can (and will) make a huge difference. If you keep setting a good example for your kids and the people around you, it will have a positive effect on them. This is such a complicated issue! All of the comments above are true. We have a great influence on the people around us.

My experience with anorexia is from a different side – when I was 7 years old, my Mom was diagonesed with anorexia (she was in her late 20′s). She was physically abused as a child. As an adult, she was finally in control of her body, but as we know, not in a healty way. Thankfully, she was able to get the help she needed and proved to be a positive role model for my sister & I.

Are we the thinnest people around? No, but we have healthy eating & exercise habits and positive body images. As my Mom taught me, no body is perfect. Who wants to be like everybody else? :-) You have to work at it every day. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. The small things that you do each day can (and will) make a huge difference. If you keep setting a good example for your kids and the people around you, it will have a positive effect on them.

]]> By: Angie http://dustinmaherfitness.com/2009/07/01/are-you-causing-your-kids-or-friends-to-become-anorexic/comment-page-1/#comment-1395 Angie Fri, 03 Jul 2009 01:35:21 +0000 http://dustinmaherfitness.com/?p=1127#comment-1395 Where to begin...When I got married, I knew that it was my responsibility to make sure my kids were not obese. My husband and 3 of his siblings were overweight growing up and I knew that my kids would be too if I did not do something about it. I heard once while I was pregnant with my first child that instead of rewarding your children with sweets you should reward them with healthy food. That way thier comfort food (if/when they need it) is healthy. They said that you should not tell your kids if you eat your veggies I will give you this candy but rather the veggies should be the reward(we usually use fruit). So I started practicing this when my children first started eating solid food. Now my boys are 6,4 and 3 and when they want a snack they go to the fridge for an apple or some grapes etc... I am not saying they never eat junk because they do, it is just not very often. Another thing we learned the hard way is to not make our children clean thier plate. My children are not picky eaters. We have not let them be, they have always ate what we put on thier plate and for a while we would just put on thier plate what we knew they needed to eat (a very small portion)and would make them finish it. Then we noticed that our middle child, when we went out to eat, always had to finish his meal. Sometimes he would ask daddy to finish it but if daddy said no then he would have to finish it himself. That was when we realized what we had done. So we started encouraging him to leave food on his plate. Now he just says, "I want to save this for later" and sometimes we tell him "no, it is OK to throw it away" (which at first was tough for him but now he just says "OK!") Thankfully we caught this early and have not had any other problems with it. Our boys are very healthy and have never been overweight, we do not let them say the word "Fat" or any derivitive of it. And have always been very positive about thier appearance. They love to excercise because they watch mommy do it. So there you have it, some good, some bad but we are forever learning how to be better! Where to begin…When I got married, I knew that it was my responsibility to make sure my kids were not obese. My husband and 3 of his siblings were overweight growing up and I knew that my kids would be too if I did not do something about it. I heard once while I was pregnant with my first child that instead of rewarding your children with sweets you should reward them with healthy food. That way thier comfort food (if/when they need it) is healthy. They said that you should not tell your kids if you eat your veggies I will give you this candy but rather the veggies should be the reward(we usually use fruit). So I started practicing this when my children first started eating solid food. Now my boys are 6,4 and 3 and when they want a snack they go to the fridge for an apple or some grapes etc… I am not saying they never eat junk because they do, it is just not very often.
Another thing we learned the hard way is to not make our children clean thier plate. My children are not picky eaters. We have not let them be, they have always ate what we put on thier plate and for a while we would just put on thier plate what we knew they needed to eat (a very small portion)and would make them finish it. Then we noticed that our middle child, when we went out to eat, always had to finish his meal. Sometimes he would ask daddy to finish it but if daddy said no then he would have to finish it himself. That was when we realized what we had done. So we started encouraging him to leave food on his plate. Now he just says, “I want to save this for later” and sometimes we tell him “no, it is OK to throw it away” (which at first was tough for him but now he just says “OK!”)
Thankfully we caught this early and have not had any other problems with it. Our boys are very healthy and have never been overweight, we do not let them say the word “Fat” or any derivitive of it. And have always been very positive about thier appearance.
They love to excercise because they watch mommy do it. So there you have it, some good, some bad but we are forever learning how to be better!

]]> By: Melissa http://dustinmaherfitness.com/2009/07/01/are-you-causing-your-kids-or-friends-to-become-anorexic/comment-page-1/#comment-1393 Melissa Thu, 02 Jul 2009 20:10:24 +0000 http://dustinmaherfitness.com/?p=1127#comment-1393 I grew up in a house full of junk food. Every meal was meat and potatoes. My mom would make a small amount of a vegetable for her and I to eat, but my Dad and brothers wouldn't touch it. Thankfully my mom taught me how to cook, and I made my own food once I was old enough. I'm trying to change that with my kids. I've had to have multiple talks with my parents about not giving my boys so many sugary snacks. Yes, I know grandparents love to spoil their grand kids and send them home, but there has to be a limit. When my oldest son (4 yrs) asks for junk food and I say no, he wants to know why. I tell him that's because it doesn't have anything in it that his body can use. Then we talk about what kinds of food his body can use for energy and why that's important. Most of the time that works and he makes a better choice. Sometimes he tells me he doesn't want to grow up to be healthy and strong. I still say no you can't have that but you can have an apple, a carrot or no snack at all. That works. Now that I'm taking time for myself to get back in shape, my kids have really started to learn the importance of exercise. My oldest always asks to come workout at Mama Tone with me instead of going to the play room. I'm working on being a better roll model for my kids because what I do really does have more of an impact than what I say. Now if we can just get the media whipped into shape. I hear too many news reports about how kids are getting fatter and what to do with overweight kids. I don't think that's the right approach. I think the message kids are getting (weather overweight or not) is, I'm not good enough I need to go on a diet. I think those messages need to go away completely and the focus shifted to how to eat right, how much you should exercise and finding a good weight for your body. I believe that everyone has an optimal weigh that they feel their best at. Getting much heavier or much lighter than that and you just don't feel well. Just my opinion. I grew up in a house full of junk food. Every meal was meat and potatoes. My mom would make a small amount of a vegetable for her and I to eat, but my Dad and brothers wouldn’t touch it. Thankfully my mom taught me how to cook, and I made my own food once I was old enough.

I’m trying to change that with my kids. I’ve had to have multiple talks with my parents about not giving my boys so many sugary snacks. Yes, I know grandparents love to spoil their grand kids and send them home, but there has to be a limit.

When my oldest son (4 yrs) asks for junk food and I say no, he wants to know why. I tell him that’s because it doesn’t have anything in it that his body can use. Then we talk about what kinds of food his body can use for energy and why that’s important. Most of the time that works and he makes a better choice. Sometimes he tells me he doesn’t want to grow up to be healthy and strong. I still say no you can’t have that but you can have an apple, a carrot or no snack at all. That works.

Now that I’m taking time for myself to get back in shape, my kids have really started to learn the importance of exercise. My oldest always asks to come workout at Mama Tone with me instead of going to the play room. I’m working on being a better roll model for my kids because what I do really does have more of an impact than what I say.

Now if we can just get the media whipped into shape. I hear too many news reports about how kids are getting fatter and what to do with overweight kids. I don’t think that’s the right approach. I think the message kids are getting (weather overweight or not) is, I’m not good enough I need to go on a diet. I think those messages need to go away completely and the focus shifted to how to eat right, how much you should exercise and finding a good weight for your body. I believe that everyone has an optimal weigh that they feel their best at. Getting much heavier or much lighter than that and you just don’t feel well. Just my opinion.

]]> By: Terry http://dustinmaherfitness.com/2009/07/01/are-you-causing-your-kids-or-friends-to-become-anorexic/comment-page-1/#comment-1391 Terry Thu, 02 Jul 2009 17:28:05 +0000 http://dustinmaherfitness.com/?p=1127#comment-1391 Hi everyone, Very interesting and thought provoking reading. Eating disorders are in the same family as addiction. The problem is more difficult though because you can't quit food.We as a society can all help to change this by loving people of all sizes and shapes. Thank you Dustin for promoting this. Execise became a way of life for me about 20 years ago, when I stopped doing it to "look good" but started doing it for my well being. I wanted to be healthy physically and mentally and it helps tremendously in both areas. Now, thanks to Dustin, I am more effective in my approach. My weight doesn't really change and that frustrates me, but I am learning to accept that a 53 year old body is different than a 33 year old body. I know that I am healthy. Hey Dustin, I smiled at the "flying squirrel" comment. Hi everyone,
Very interesting and thought provoking reading. Eating disorders are in the same family as addiction. The problem is more difficult though because you can’t quit food.We as a society can all help to change this by loving people of all sizes and shapes. Thank you Dustin for promoting this. Execise became a way of life for me about 20 years ago, when I stopped doing it to “look good” but started doing it for my well being. I wanted to be healthy physically and mentally and it helps tremendously in both areas. Now, thanks to Dustin, I am more effective in my approach. My weight doesn’t really change and that frustrates me, but I am learning to accept that a 53 year old body is different than a 33 year old body. I know that I am healthy. Hey Dustin, I smiled at the “flying squirrel” comment.

]]> By: Dustin Maher http://dustinmaherfitness.com/2009/07/01/are-you-causing-your-kids-or-friends-to-become-anorexic/comment-page-1/#comment-1389 Dustin Maher Thu, 02 Jul 2009 13:19:20 +0000 http://dustinmaherfitness.com/?p=1127#comment-1389 Awesome comments everyone! Matt, you are SO true and bring up a great point that compulsive exercise is highly correlated with anorexia and other body image problems. I will definitely write about that subject sometime soon! Carol, I too have experienced the sororities when I was in college and hearing that just about every girl in a certain house was throwing up, and it was causing problems with the plumbing. How sad. Mike, good to hear from you bud! I am glad you got back on track and are doing better than ever! Mom, haha, I forgot about making Chris write that report! Now Chris is much stronger than me :( Patty, I love all your posts and your awesome work at bootcamp along with heather. I am thankful I found you too! Sherri, beauty starts from the inside. Just keep working hard in bootcamp and eat for fuel. I am excited for you to come on my grocery shopping tour soon! We make 100's of small decisions each day, make sure those are taking you closer to your goals! Awesome comments everyone!

Matt, you are SO true and bring up a great point that compulsive exercise is highly correlated with anorexia and other body image problems. I will definitely write about that subject sometime soon!

Carol, I too have experienced the sororities when I was in college and hearing that just about every girl in a certain house was throwing up, and it was causing problems with the plumbing. How sad.

Mike, good to hear from you bud! I am glad you got back on track and are doing better than ever!

Mom, haha, I forgot about making Chris write that report! Now Chris is much stronger than me :(

Patty, I love all your posts and your awesome work at bootcamp along with heather. I am thankful I found you too!

Sherri, beauty starts from the inside. Just keep working hard in bootcamp and eat for fuel. I am excited for you to come on my grocery shopping tour soon! We make 100′s of small decisions each day, make sure those are taking you closer to your goals!

]]> By: Patty http://dustinmaherfitness.com/2009/07/01/are-you-causing-your-kids-or-friends-to-become-anorexic/comment-page-1/#comment-1387 Patty Thu, 02 Jul 2009 12:51:08 +0000 http://dustinmaherfitness.com/?p=1127#comment-1387 Although the exercise is very important to reach your goals, I think eating healthy is key. I often struggling with my eating although I am happy to say that my husband and I about a couple years back little red meat, breads and potatotes. We are big with the veggies and eat alot of chicken and fishes. You would be surprized the way you can spruce up veggies for your kids. I like to cook veggies with a little bit of olive oil and then sprinkle some hidden valley ranch dry powder in while cooking the veggies or grill veggies in tin foil on the grill. You can throw veggies into soups or casseroles. There are ways to get those veggies in there. I have seen my daughter in the last year completely change her eating habits. In college she used to do alot of junk food and fast packaged meals. Now she has turned into such a good cook with good healthy recipes. I am so proud of her life choices. She is the one who discovered Dustins bootcamp for us and I am thankful everyday that she did. Sometimes it seems strange to me that the healthy choices at the supermarket are more expensive than the junky food but than again what better investment is there than your body and good health? Although the exercise is very important to reach your goals, I think eating healthy is key. I often struggling with my eating although I am happy to say that my husband and I about a couple years back little red meat, breads and potatotes. We are big with the veggies and eat alot of chicken and fishes. You would be surprized the way you can spruce up veggies for your kids. I like to cook veggies with a little bit of olive oil and then sprinkle some hidden valley ranch dry powder in while cooking the veggies or grill veggies in tin foil on the grill. You can throw veggies into soups or casseroles. There are ways to get those veggies in there.
I have seen my daughter in the last year completely change her eating habits. In college she used to do alot of junk food and fast packaged meals. Now she has turned into such a good cook with good healthy recipes.
I am so proud of her life choices. She is the one who discovered Dustins bootcamp for us and I am thankful everyday that she did. Sometimes it seems strange to me that the healthy choices at the supermarket are more expensive than the junky food but than again what better investment is there than your body and good health?

]]> By: Mike http://dustinmaherfitness.com/2009/07/01/are-you-causing-your-kids-or-friends-to-become-anorexic/comment-page-1/#comment-1385 Mike Thu, 02 Jul 2009 10:05:00 +0000 http://dustinmaherfitness.com/?p=1127#comment-1385 Good Morning Everyone: My name is Mike and the above stories really touched me. I attended Dustin's boot-camps last year and he really helped me to put things into perspective. I have always struggled with my weight and was 350 pounds at my peak. My weight has always gone up and down because I thought I needed to be a skinny 170 pounds.. (Like that is ever going to happen again) :) I now have things under control and am a health 230 pounds. I still have another 30 to lose, but I am doing it the right way. Currently, I am in training to run the Chicago Marathon in October and have never felt better. I now only jump on the scale once a month and rate my progress on how I feel, not what the number is. Good Morning Everyone:

My name is Mike and the above stories really touched me. I attended Dustin’s boot-camps last year and he really helped me to put things into perspective.
I have always struggled with my weight and was 350 pounds at my peak. My weight has always gone up and down because I thought I needed to be a skinny 170 pounds.. (Like that is ever going to happen again) :) I now have things under control and am a health 230 pounds. I still have another 30 to lose, but I am doing it the right way. Currently, I am in training to run the Chicago Marathon in October and have never felt better. I now only jump on the scale once a month and rate my progress on how I feel, not what the number is.

]]> By: Mom http://dustinmaherfitness.com/2009/07/01/are-you-causing-your-kids-or-friends-to-become-anorexic/comment-page-1/#comment-1384 Mom Thu, 02 Jul 2009 05:05:54 +0000 http://dustinmaherfitness.com/?p=1127#comment-1384 Wow, I am blown away with this blog and the incredible information being shared.....and at my stage in child raising (Dustin's baby brother just graduated last month), I can only look back and realize I sure didn't do it all the best way. However, as someone pointed out, no parent is perfect and we need to accept this about our past, learn from others, change where it's needed.....and for me, some day, I will be able to do it better with the grandkids! :) But I do remember something I did from the seat of my pants with one of Dustin's siblings who craved sugar! I didn't feel like he was too impressed with all the facts that came from ole' Ma, like, he needed to eat more protein so the craving would lessen, etc. etc. So I had him do some research online and write me an essay about sugar!! I think I brought the Sugar Blues book home from the library too; but he always said he was so active and didn't think the sugar stuck around long enough to do any harm-a teen's reasoning can be quite creative! So, I thought some good facts from other sources would make the light bulb go on for him. And like pointed out above, he was a beanpole and that can make some think they are healthy. Today, at 23 yrs., he is solid muscle, and will often turn down my sending cookies home with him (yeah, sounds like tables have flipped!), not wanting sugar around to tempt him. Did the essay do any good...besides giving him lots of laughs doing it and telling his friends about it :)....who knows? Nothing changed at the time that I remember, but that is what parenting is all about, just keeping on doing our best; and after all, God loves them even more than we do and can bring others into their lives to build upon our foundation, however shaky or sturdy that may be! I hope y'all keep blogging here-I have learned so much already!! Wow, I am blown away with this blog and the incredible information being shared…..and at my stage in child raising (Dustin’s baby brother just graduated last month), I can only look back and realize I sure didn’t do it all the best way. However, as someone pointed out, no parent is perfect and we need to accept this about our past, learn from others, change where it’s needed…..and for me, some day, I will be able to do it better with the grandkids! :)

But I do remember something I did from the seat of my pants with one of Dustin’s siblings who craved sugar!
I didn’t feel like he was too impressed with all the facts that came from ole’ Ma, like, he needed to eat more protein so the craving would lessen, etc. etc. So I had him do some research online and write me an essay about sugar!! I think I brought the Sugar Blues book home from the library too; but he always said he was so active and didn’t think the sugar stuck around long enough to do any harm-a teen’s reasoning can be quite creative! So, I thought some good facts from other sources would make the light bulb go on for him. And like pointed out above, he was a beanpole and that can make some think they are healthy. Today, at 23 yrs., he is solid muscle, and will often turn down my sending cookies home with him (yeah, sounds like tables have flipped!), not wanting sugar around to tempt him. Did the essay do any good…besides giving him lots of laughs doing it and telling his friends about it :) ….who knows? Nothing changed at the time that I remember, but that is what parenting is all about, just keeping on doing our best; and after all, God loves them even more than we do and can bring others into their lives to build upon our foundation, however shaky or sturdy that may be!

I hope y’all keep blogging here-I have learned so much already!!

]]> By: Maleah Moskoff http://dustinmaherfitness.com/2009/07/01/are-you-causing-your-kids-or-friends-to-become-anorexic/comment-page-1/#comment-1383 Maleah Moskoff Thu, 02 Jul 2009 04:36:52 +0000 http://dustinmaherfitness.com/?p=1127#comment-1383 Kids say the darndest things... My almost 5 year old told me I have flappy arms, BUT this was not in a negative way rather an observation. I decided not to be offended. Instead, I said I am working hard and doing push ups in Mamatone and getting stronger. Just yesterday, Mr.Fit aka the same almost 5 year old, said "Mom, you're kind of fat." I never wanted this day to come. Again, should I choose to be heartbroken or use this moment as a teaching moment? I shed a tear and then went on to explain that I am working hard at Mamatone to become stronger and healthier. We all have hard choices to make everyday. I choose to change! Kids say the darndest things… My almost 5 year old told me I have flappy arms, BUT this was not in a negative way rather an observation. I decided not to be offended. Instead, I said I am working hard and doing push ups in Mamatone and getting stronger. Just yesterday, Mr.Fit aka the same almost 5 year old, said “Mom, you’re kind of fat.” I never wanted this day to come. Again, should I choose to be heartbroken or use this moment as a teaching moment? I shed a tear and then went on to explain that I am working hard at Mamatone to become stronger and healthier. We all have hard choices to make everyday. I choose to change!

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